Post by Brewers GM (Clint) on Apr 10, 2014 19:33:56 GMT -6
Power Rankings Week 1 Part 2 also known as the MC Hammer Portion (Too Legit too Quit)
#1 Atlanta Braves, 1-0 - 14-0 is impressive I guess, then again I could probably beat up a 13 year old girl as well. Braves performed at a respectable or better level in every category. The lofty ranking is much a result of having a very balanced team. I give the owner a lot of credit for paying attention to the little deals and making an investment in the bullpen. Many squads overlook this area. Braves have a legitimate shot to win it all.
MVP - Giancarlo Stanton 2 HR, 12 RBI, 2 SB, .345, 1.061
Reason For Hope: Some Wack-Nut in another league predicted Jacoby Ellsbury to win MVP.
#2 Washington Nationals, 1-0 - This team from an overall talent standpoint is the leagues best says my initial eyeball test...........if you overlook the obvious issue at closer. Though I should not get too personal I also should tell the "truth." Although I have no idea what the relationship is and really do not care this man has pictures on his facebook with ladies that are entirely too hot to be in pictures with him. Who needs a better reason than that to not start him out in the #1 slot.
BOOM!
MVP - Anthony Rendon 5 RBI, .391, 1.000 OPS
Reason For Hope: Dude has skills.......hope is for losers.
#3 Florida Marlins, 1-0 (BTW if he is allowed to be called the Florida Marlins I am considering petitioning the league to change to the Seattle Pilots.) Any team headlined by Trout and Fernandez means serious business. We are going to start them off at three because a couple of the other starters got pounded like Lindsay Lohan at a Hollywood after party.
MVP - Jose Fernandez 17K, 2 QS, 2 W, .71 Era, .79 Whip
Reason For Hope: Mike Trout
#4 Cincinnati Reds, 1-0 Reds have a solid to powerful squad. They excelled on offense while leading the league in HR and RBI. They get rated down to # 4 for a lack of style points. Dude was crowing on facebook for "kicking ass" while beating a team that hit .188. Sir, you basically won a gold medal at the Special Olympics. BRAVO!!!!!!
P.S. No offense intended as I have great respect for these fine athletes.
MVP - Too many to choose from but let's go with Cargo 2 HR, 2 SB, .346, 1.164
**** Reason for DESPAIR: I see tons of injuries for this team based on the theory of Karma. Starting with shoulder surgery for the team owner. Laugh this off if you want but when is the last time a stud closer broke his face on the field of play?
Injury Report: Troy Baker, surgery of the shoulder (upper body injury for you hockey tool-bags) due to excessive patting of his own back.
#5 Seattle Mariners, 1-0 Talented team that impressed on offense. I did however consider ranking them #17 because of there half ass attempt to field a pitching staff. I do not want to be too rough on them though. After all, they only had 6 weeks from when Walker and Iwakuma got hurt and opening day to find replacements. It was also still kind of a secret that Matt Harvey's arm fell off when they acquired him.
MVP - Brandon Belt 4 HR, 22 TB, 7 RBI, .323, 1.032
Reason For Hope: This teams major issue is in the planning department. This book is real.............http://www.rakuten.com/prod/strategic-planning-for-dummies/202837098.html?listingId=212229803&scid=pla_google_BookCloseouts&adid=17260&gclid=CL724v-c170CFcdaMgodVEwAxA
#6 Chicago Cubs, 1-0 This might be the first time the Cubs are in the top of anything since 1908. You must give this team credit for fielding a respectable product. We all know what he started with. Polishing a turd is a skill. Well done Sir!
MVP - Alex Rios .348, .940
Reason For Hope: This is fantasy so this team does not actually play in Wrigley which means the fake fans at the fake games do not pee in cow troughs like the real fans do at Wrigley. Which means the fake field does not smell like piss like the real one does. There is hope for us all in this one.
#7 New York Mets, 0-1 The Met's make it into the too legit to quit portion based on some stellar starting pitching and a very deep closer stable. Calling the offense a week one train wreck is an extremely mean thing to say about a train wreck.
MVP - Yovani Gallardo 2 QS, 2 W, 0.00 Era, 1.02 Whip
Reason For Hope: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a noted Mets fan and a big fat guy (BFG) Big fat guys are jolly. Jolly fans make happy players. Happy players kick ass. Dude is very Jolly. The future could be bright around this organization.
#8 Tampa Bay Rays, 0-1 Rays are one of two losers to crack the top 8. In other words they are among the best losers. However, if the offense chokes again they can say farewell to the middle class. Bryce Harper, also known as Mike Trout's bitch hit just .143. and he wasn't even the team donkey. Vote For Pedro! (Alvarez .136) Additionally this team seems to not have gotten the memo that we count relief pitching. The excellent quality at 1B and players like King Felix and Strasburg make it impossible to rank them any lower right now.
MVP - Felix Hernandez 2 QS, 2W, 19K, ERA 1.88, Whip .84
Reason For Hope: I checked the rules and trades for relief pitching are allowed.
#1 Atlanta Braves, 1-0 - 14-0 is impressive I guess, then again I could probably beat up a 13 year old girl as well. Braves performed at a respectable or better level in every category. The lofty ranking is much a result of having a very balanced team. I give the owner a lot of credit for paying attention to the little deals and making an investment in the bullpen. Many squads overlook this area. Braves have a legitimate shot to win it all.
MVP - Giancarlo Stanton 2 HR, 12 RBI, 2 SB, .345, 1.061
Reason For Hope: Some Wack-Nut in another league predicted Jacoby Ellsbury to win MVP.
#2 Washington Nationals, 1-0 - This team from an overall talent standpoint is the leagues best says my initial eyeball test...........if you overlook the obvious issue at closer. Though I should not get too personal I also should tell the "truth." Although I have no idea what the relationship is and really do not care this man has pictures on his facebook with ladies that are entirely too hot to be in pictures with him. Who needs a better reason than that to not start him out in the #1 slot.
BOOM!
MVP - Anthony Rendon 5 RBI, .391, 1.000 OPS
Reason For Hope: Dude has skills.......hope is for losers.
#3 Florida Marlins, 1-0 (BTW if he is allowed to be called the Florida Marlins I am considering petitioning the league to change to the Seattle Pilots.) Any team headlined by Trout and Fernandez means serious business. We are going to start them off at three because a couple of the other starters got pounded like Lindsay Lohan at a Hollywood after party.
MVP - Jose Fernandez 17K, 2 QS, 2 W, .71 Era, .79 Whip
Reason For Hope: Mike Trout
#4 Cincinnati Reds, 1-0 Reds have a solid to powerful squad. They excelled on offense while leading the league in HR and RBI. They get rated down to # 4 for a lack of style points. Dude was crowing on facebook for "kicking ass" while beating a team that hit .188. Sir, you basically won a gold medal at the Special Olympics. BRAVO!!!!!!
P.S. No offense intended as I have great respect for these fine athletes.
MVP - Too many to choose from but let's go with Cargo 2 HR, 2 SB, .346, 1.164
**** Reason for DESPAIR: I see tons of injuries for this team based on the theory of Karma. Starting with shoulder surgery for the team owner. Laugh this off if you want but when is the last time a stud closer broke his face on the field of play?
Injury Report: Troy Baker, surgery of the shoulder (upper body injury for you hockey tool-bags) due to excessive patting of his own back.
#5 Seattle Mariners, 1-0 Talented team that impressed on offense. I did however consider ranking them #17 because of there half ass attempt to field a pitching staff. I do not want to be too rough on them though. After all, they only had 6 weeks from when Walker and Iwakuma got hurt and opening day to find replacements. It was also still kind of a secret that Matt Harvey's arm fell off when they acquired him.
MVP - Brandon Belt 4 HR, 22 TB, 7 RBI, .323, 1.032
Reason For Hope: This teams major issue is in the planning department. This book is real.............http://www.rakuten.com/prod/strategic-planning-for-dummies/202837098.html?listingId=212229803&scid=pla_google_BookCloseouts&adid=17260&gclid=CL724v-c170CFcdaMgodVEwAxA
#6 Chicago Cubs, 1-0 This might be the first time the Cubs are in the top of anything since 1908. You must give this team credit for fielding a respectable product. We all know what he started with. Polishing a turd is a skill. Well done Sir!
MVP - Alex Rios .348, .940
Reason For Hope: This is fantasy so this team does not actually play in Wrigley which means the fake fans at the fake games do not pee in cow troughs like the real fans do at Wrigley. Which means the fake field does not smell like piss like the real one does. There is hope for us all in this one.
#7 New York Mets, 0-1 The Met's make it into the too legit to quit portion based on some stellar starting pitching and a very deep closer stable. Calling the offense a week one train wreck is an extremely mean thing to say about a train wreck.
MVP - Yovani Gallardo 2 QS, 2 W, 0.00 Era, 1.02 Whip
Reason For Hope: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a noted Mets fan and a big fat guy (BFG) Big fat guys are jolly. Jolly fans make happy players. Happy players kick ass. Dude is very Jolly. The future could be bright around this organization.
#8 Tampa Bay Rays, 0-1 Rays are one of two losers to crack the top 8. In other words they are among the best losers. However, if the offense chokes again they can say farewell to the middle class. Bryce Harper, also known as Mike Trout's bitch hit just .143. and he wasn't even the team donkey. Vote For Pedro! (Alvarez .136) Additionally this team seems to not have gotten the memo that we count relief pitching. The excellent quality at 1B and players like King Felix and Strasburg make it impossible to rank them any lower right now.
MVP - Felix Hernandez 2 QS, 2W, 19K, ERA 1.88, Whip .84
Reason For Hope: I checked the rules and trades for relief pitching are allowed.