Post by Brewers GM (Clint) on Apr 21, 2014 16:45:52 GMT -6
I will be posting the weekly power rankings in two parts each week. The first part will be the bottom half, also known as the glass half full half. If you get offended that is OK we weren't going to spend Christmas together anyways.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
This Power Ranking is Composed based on performance and a glance at the team rosters...........
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to.
#9 Florida Marlins, 1-1-1, The Marlins kissed their sister this week. Thank goodness that is just a figure of speech as Adam (Pirates) would make a fairly hideous sister.........not to mention making out with your sister is gross. (Even if she is hot) A tie with the win-less Pirates is not hot.
MVP: Albert Pujols 2 HR, .333, 1.036 OPS
Reason For Hope: The teams weekly MVP is probably not as young as his age is listed. And the Marlins know this.
www.businessinsider.com/mlb-is-albert-pujols-lying-about-his-age-2011-11. Be skeptical if you must but we all know everything on the internet is true. So, the teams bottom line might soon be helped by the social security administration!
#10 Chicago Cubs, 1-2, This league is designed to mimic real baseball. The Cubs are on a two game losing streak. How much more real can you get? Do not fret though. I predict at least one more one game winning streak in this teams future!
MVP: Prince Fielder 2 HR, 1.103 OPS
Reason For Hope: Mike Moustakas and his .125 batting average face the real Minnesota Twins pitching staff this week. If that can't get him going he should pack it in for the season.
#11 Pittsburgh Pirates 0-2-1. I do not live in Colorado, which means I do not legally smoke weed all day. I point this out as you might be wondering how a team that is win-less going into week 4 can be ranked 11 of 16. Are you high? (you might be thinking) No sirs (and ma'am). This is just the result rendered by the fact that the bottom of the league is really shitty.
MVP: Josh Donaldson .370, 1.063 OPS
Reason For Hope: The Pirates are working the fake phones trying to make fake trades in order to get in the win column. BTW the word column is every bit as stupid as words like scissors and knife and let's not forget the word sword. Dear people smarter than me...........is it a rule that any word having to do with cutting or stabbing someone must have at least one useless letter in it?
#12 Milwaukee Brewers, 1-2, WTF Brewers? Waving the white flag midway through week three? What are you from France? All of your grandstanding about being "in it to win it" and now you are rebuilding. Makes you sound nearly as stupid as those rich and famous knob goblins who have been in the news lately spouting off about not vaccinating children even though anyone who can spell CAT will tell you that those jacked up theories have been proven wrong.
Point is you look like a jackass, me. Knock it off.
MVP: Ryan Braun 3 HR, .308, 1.088 OPS and then you traded him jackass?
Reason For Hope: You play the Mariners this week and that dude is bound to do something stupid so you may have a chance? (Editors note:Not likely)
#13 NY Mets , 1-2, The Mets got crushed this week (1-12-1) and are now signing people and making more moves than a drunk sailor on a three day pass. That is good. At least it means you are trying and you have the heart to get better. May you not get fantasy baseball VD sir! Cheers............
MVP: Giancarlo Stanton 2 HR, 10 RBI, .333, 1.196 OPS
Reason For Hope: You are probably in this leagues finest division. You will probably get a sweet draft pick in 2015........
#14 Arizona Diamonbacks, 1-2 Mr. Stanco is a real life Arizona fan so I tried real hard to find a kind word in Lieu of a tough early real season. I eventually gave up as I do not have that kind of time.
14 is better than 16?
MVP: James Shields 12K, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 Era, .75 Whip
Reason For Hope: Earlier in the season (week 1) Mark Trumbo was hitting for average. He has since remembered he is Mark Trumbo (.118 in week 3) You can be hopeful as amnesia is a real condition!
#15 Minnesota Twins, 0-2-1. YOU GOT A TIE MY MAN! Although you are not technically a winner you are also not mathematically a complete loser! Looking at the weekly stats for both teams you basically tied the toilet bowl. In any event this is progress. The Twins have shown evidence that they do not want to remain cellar worthy by adding some major league talent. Baby steps perhaps but at least baby is not sitting on his ass.
MVP: Joakim Soria 2 Saves (Yup, that was the MVP) WHOA!
Reason For Hope: It is not possible for you to go win-less. That chance seemed real. That threat is gone sir..........Add some Kudos for becoming not a loser against a team that might not suck.
#16 Detroit Tigers, 0-3. I predicted a win V the Reds and I was terribly wrong. Oooops....I mean sorry. The Tigers are the only 3 loss team so they have earned donkey patrol this week. This team did pitch a little but the offense displayed why the word offense is in offensive. Very bad news.
MVP: Hector Santiago 10 K, 0.71 Era, 1.03 Whip
Reason For Hope: In my opinion there are at least 5 teams that you are better than. Wins will come. Patience is a virtue.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
This Power Ranking is Composed based on performance and a glance at the team rosters...........
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to.
#9 Florida Marlins, 1-1-1, The Marlins kissed their sister this week. Thank goodness that is just a figure of speech as Adam (Pirates) would make a fairly hideous sister.........not to mention making out with your sister is gross. (Even if she is hot) A tie with the win-less Pirates is not hot.
MVP: Albert Pujols 2 HR, .333, 1.036 OPS
Reason For Hope: The teams weekly MVP is probably not as young as his age is listed. And the Marlins know this.
www.businessinsider.com/mlb-is-albert-pujols-lying-about-his-age-2011-11. Be skeptical if you must but we all know everything on the internet is true. So, the teams bottom line might soon be helped by the social security administration!
#10 Chicago Cubs, 1-2, This league is designed to mimic real baseball. The Cubs are on a two game losing streak. How much more real can you get? Do not fret though. I predict at least one more one game winning streak in this teams future!
MVP: Prince Fielder 2 HR, 1.103 OPS
Reason For Hope: Mike Moustakas and his .125 batting average face the real Minnesota Twins pitching staff this week. If that can't get him going he should pack it in for the season.
#11 Pittsburgh Pirates 0-2-1. I do not live in Colorado, which means I do not legally smoke weed all day. I point this out as you might be wondering how a team that is win-less going into week 4 can be ranked 11 of 16. Are you high? (you might be thinking) No sirs (and ma'am). This is just the result rendered by the fact that the bottom of the league is really shitty.
MVP: Josh Donaldson .370, 1.063 OPS
Reason For Hope: The Pirates are working the fake phones trying to make fake trades in order to get in the win column. BTW the word column is every bit as stupid as words like scissors and knife and let's not forget the word sword. Dear people smarter than me...........is it a rule that any word having to do with cutting or stabbing someone must have at least one useless letter in it?
#12 Milwaukee Brewers, 1-2, WTF Brewers? Waving the white flag midway through week three? What are you from France? All of your grandstanding about being "in it to win it" and now you are rebuilding. Makes you sound nearly as stupid as those rich and famous knob goblins who have been in the news lately spouting off about not vaccinating children even though anyone who can spell CAT will tell you that those jacked up theories have been proven wrong.
Point is you look like a jackass, me. Knock it off.
MVP: Ryan Braun 3 HR, .308, 1.088 OPS and then you traded him jackass?
Reason For Hope: You play the Mariners this week and that dude is bound to do something stupid so you may have a chance? (Editors note:Not likely)
#13 NY Mets , 1-2, The Mets got crushed this week (1-12-1) and are now signing people and making more moves than a drunk sailor on a three day pass. That is good. At least it means you are trying and you have the heart to get better. May you not get fantasy baseball VD sir! Cheers............
MVP: Giancarlo Stanton 2 HR, 10 RBI, .333, 1.196 OPS
Reason For Hope: You are probably in this leagues finest division. You will probably get a sweet draft pick in 2015........
#14 Arizona Diamonbacks, 1-2 Mr. Stanco is a real life Arizona fan so I tried real hard to find a kind word in Lieu of a tough early real season. I eventually gave up as I do not have that kind of time.
14 is better than 16?
MVP: James Shields 12K, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 Era, .75 Whip
Reason For Hope: Earlier in the season (week 1) Mark Trumbo was hitting for average. He has since remembered he is Mark Trumbo (.118 in week 3) You can be hopeful as amnesia is a real condition!
#15 Minnesota Twins, 0-2-1. YOU GOT A TIE MY MAN! Although you are not technically a winner you are also not mathematically a complete loser! Looking at the weekly stats for both teams you basically tied the toilet bowl. In any event this is progress. The Twins have shown evidence that they do not want to remain cellar worthy by adding some major league talent. Baby steps perhaps but at least baby is not sitting on his ass.
MVP: Joakim Soria 2 Saves (Yup, that was the MVP) WHOA!
Reason For Hope: It is not possible for you to go win-less. That chance seemed real. That threat is gone sir..........Add some Kudos for becoming not a loser against a team that might not suck.
#16 Detroit Tigers, 0-3. I predicted a win V the Reds and I was terribly wrong. Oooops....I mean sorry. The Tigers are the only 3 loss team so they have earned donkey patrol this week. This team did pitch a little but the offense displayed why the word offense is in offensive. Very bad news.
MVP: Hector Santiago 10 K, 0.71 Era, 1.03 Whip
Reason For Hope: In my opinion there are at least 5 teams that you are better than. Wins will come. Patience is a virtue.