Post by Brewers GM (Clint) on Apr 22, 2014 17:13:06 GMT -6
Power Rankings Week 1 Part 2 also known as the MC Hammer Portion (Too Legit too Quit)
#1 Atlanta Braves 3-0, The Braves were 1 SB and 3 saves away from there 2nd perfect week. 12-1-1 isn't too shabby. He was "heard" saying on the FB page this week "I do not need to make any deals, my teem is perfect." I raced to look at his lineup and found that he does not have any corn dogs on his teem or 19 year old blondes with big cans so "perfect" seems to be pushing it a little.
That said, they are pretty damn good.
MVP: Ervin Santana 2 QS, 1 W, 18K, 1.38 ERA, 1.08 Whip
Reason For Hope: His division seems to be weaker than this guy www.visualphotos.com/image/2x1501931/skinny_man_in_old_fashioned_stripey_bathing
#2 Reds 3-0 No comment.
MVP: Joey Votto 2 HR, .429, 1.286 OPS
Reason For Hope: No Comment.
#3 Tampa Bay Elvis-Rays 2-1, On paper and statistically speaking the Rays have some pitching issues. However they have star power that will shine down on many doggy asses as this season continues.
Strasburg does not suck this bad and anyone who tattoo's HOOVER on his forehead should do so with a temporary tattoo.
MVP: Howie "WTF" Kendrick 2 HR, 7 RBI, .370, 1.006 OPS
Reason For Hope: If Chris Sale's Arm does in fact fall off Duct tape makes some really excellent products. Strap that baby back on as he is a gamer.
#4 St. Louis Cardinals The Cards are on a two game win streak and could roll with that way for a while. Talented team that has yet to hit it's stride in the power game. The only team fault that is glaring is the fact that one of the 1B has two first names. If the other one would chop off the S at the end he would as well. How annoying!
MVP: Matt Adam(s) .417, .958 OPS (but less HR's than Alcides Escobar)
Reason For Hope: After being accused of having no talent other than a few top guys I did some research and confirmed that is not true this team does have other talent and you should believe me as I had one year of college and I am good at math and I once bowled a 298 game and I was once the lead singer of a Kiss cover band and I once banged a porn star and I am not even kidding about any of these. (although the word bang might be stretching it)
#5 Seattle Mariners 2-1, The Mariners have woken up and decided to put some effort into his team. Time will tell if the effort pays off. I had some opportunity to exchange some pleasant PM's with this young man this week. Please allow me to share some of the content. Daniel: So are you interested in Matt Kemp? Clint: No! Daniel: He has gotten off to a really good start. Clint: Ummmmmmmmmmm (awkward silence) Ahhhhhhhhhh.............he is hitting .174. Daniel: Really? Clint: Ahhhh yea.........
Dear Canada, Al Gore invented the internet in the late 80's yea-hey-there.
If someone offered the MAriners a million bucks for getting one single save last week he would not be a billionaire today!
MVP: Masahiro Tanaka 8 shutout innings, 2 hits and 10 K for the win
Reason For Hope: I am just kidding around about Canada. They do have indoor plumbing. (most places)
#6 L.A. Dodgers 2-1, There is a good chance this team should be ahead of Seattle based on crushing them earlier but they started in the outhouse so let's make them work toward the penthouse. I mentioned last week that they will be a mover and a shaker and they have begun to move and shake. He made another key acquisition to his team this week by bringing in George Springer. He should light up most offensive categories unless the big league off speed stuff makes it a struggle to hit his weight.
If I could hit my weight I would seriously consider changing my name to Ted Williams.
MVP: Jesse Chavez 2 QS, 1 W, 15 K, 1.38 ERA, 0.85 Whip
Reason For Hope: Has the loot to make some deals.
#7 Washington Nationals 1-1-1. I feel bad about the direction the Nationals have headed. They tied the freaking Twins.............Instead of piling on I will briefly tell of another personal story of at least equal ineptitude.
A league ass bag pointed out I was a big fat guy. I am sort of but much less than the old days and the days of this story. Despite being a big fat guy (BFG) I was pretty athletic. I point it out because that was the reason I was recruited to "wrastle" heavy weight for our high school wrestling team. I must say that my head or heart was not in it and I must say that in my very first match I got pinned by a blind guy.
I wish this was not true but it is what it is. My point is NAts...............cheer up................things could be worse.!
MVP: The talented but blind guy who hopefully made you feel a little better. And Michael Brantley 2 HR, .995 OPS
Reason For Hope: I am almost positive you will never be pinned by a blind dude. (or a midget I am pretty sure)
#8 Chicago White Sox 2-1, The Sox finally lost and then made a statement buy trading off George Springer for in my opinion a very strong package of players. Even Al Gore who came inches from being the man who lives in the White House realized he was no politician and went on to other things like making up global warming to scare naive people and get rich. The point is the Sox figured out they were not winning squat this season and is building for the future.
MVP: James Loney .421, 1.101 OPS
Reason For Hope: Mark My Words. Joc Pederson is the real deal.
#1 Atlanta Braves 3-0, The Braves were 1 SB and 3 saves away from there 2nd perfect week. 12-1-1 isn't too shabby. He was "heard" saying on the FB page this week "I do not need to make any deals, my teem is perfect." I raced to look at his lineup and found that he does not have any corn dogs on his teem or 19 year old blondes with big cans so "perfect" seems to be pushing it a little.
That said, they are pretty damn good.
MVP: Ervin Santana 2 QS, 1 W, 18K, 1.38 ERA, 1.08 Whip
Reason For Hope: His division seems to be weaker than this guy www.visualphotos.com/image/2x1501931/skinny_man_in_old_fashioned_stripey_bathing
#2 Reds 3-0 No comment.
MVP: Joey Votto 2 HR, .429, 1.286 OPS
Reason For Hope: No Comment.
#3 Tampa Bay Elvis-Rays 2-1, On paper and statistically speaking the Rays have some pitching issues. However they have star power that will shine down on many doggy asses as this season continues.
Strasburg does not suck this bad and anyone who tattoo's HOOVER on his forehead should do so with a temporary tattoo.
MVP: Howie "WTF" Kendrick 2 HR, 7 RBI, .370, 1.006 OPS
Reason For Hope: If Chris Sale's Arm does in fact fall off Duct tape makes some really excellent products. Strap that baby back on as he is a gamer.
#4 St. Louis Cardinals The Cards are on a two game win streak and could roll with that way for a while. Talented team that has yet to hit it's stride in the power game. The only team fault that is glaring is the fact that one of the 1B has two first names. If the other one would chop off the S at the end he would as well. How annoying!
MVP: Matt Adam(s) .417, .958 OPS (but less HR's than Alcides Escobar)
Reason For Hope: After being accused of having no talent other than a few top guys I did some research and confirmed that is not true this team does have other talent and you should believe me as I had one year of college and I am good at math and I once bowled a 298 game and I was once the lead singer of a Kiss cover band and I once banged a porn star and I am not even kidding about any of these. (although the word bang might be stretching it)
#5 Seattle Mariners 2-1, The Mariners have woken up and decided to put some effort into his team. Time will tell if the effort pays off. I had some opportunity to exchange some pleasant PM's with this young man this week. Please allow me to share some of the content. Daniel: So are you interested in Matt Kemp? Clint: No! Daniel: He has gotten off to a really good start. Clint: Ummmmmmmmmmm (awkward silence) Ahhhhhhhhhh.............he is hitting .174. Daniel: Really? Clint: Ahhhh yea.........
Dear Canada, Al Gore invented the internet in the late 80's yea-hey-there.
If someone offered the MAriners a million bucks for getting one single save last week he would not be a billionaire today!
MVP: Masahiro Tanaka 8 shutout innings, 2 hits and 10 K for the win
Reason For Hope: I am just kidding around about Canada. They do have indoor plumbing. (most places)
#6 L.A. Dodgers 2-1, There is a good chance this team should be ahead of Seattle based on crushing them earlier but they started in the outhouse so let's make them work toward the penthouse. I mentioned last week that they will be a mover and a shaker and they have begun to move and shake. He made another key acquisition to his team this week by bringing in George Springer. He should light up most offensive categories unless the big league off speed stuff makes it a struggle to hit his weight.
If I could hit my weight I would seriously consider changing my name to Ted Williams.
MVP: Jesse Chavez 2 QS, 1 W, 15 K, 1.38 ERA, 0.85 Whip
Reason For Hope: Has the loot to make some deals.
#7 Washington Nationals 1-1-1. I feel bad about the direction the Nationals have headed. They tied the freaking Twins.............Instead of piling on I will briefly tell of another personal story of at least equal ineptitude.
A league ass bag pointed out I was a big fat guy. I am sort of but much less than the old days and the days of this story. Despite being a big fat guy (BFG) I was pretty athletic. I point it out because that was the reason I was recruited to "wrastle" heavy weight for our high school wrestling team. I must say that my head or heart was not in it and I must say that in my very first match I got pinned by a blind guy.
I wish this was not true but it is what it is. My point is NAts...............cheer up................things could be worse.!
MVP: The talented but blind guy who hopefully made you feel a little better. And Michael Brantley 2 HR, .995 OPS
Reason For Hope: I am almost positive you will never be pinned by a blind dude. (or a midget I am pretty sure)
#8 Chicago White Sox 2-1, The Sox finally lost and then made a statement buy trading off George Springer for in my opinion a very strong package of players. Even Al Gore who came inches from being the man who lives in the White House realized he was no politician and went on to other things like making up global warming to scare naive people and get rich. The point is the Sox figured out they were not winning squat this season and is building for the future.
MVP: James Loney .421, 1.101 OPS
Reason For Hope: Mark My Words. Joc Pederson is the real deal.