Post by Brewers GM (Clint) on May 13, 2014 17:12:41 GMT -6
Hello. This week we might be more numbers oriented and less the "cock off" variety as I sit down to write this. We will have to see how it goes.
The number one slot is obviously between two teams. Before looking closely at it I suspected it would be a coin flip. As it turned out it is pretty clear who is the top dog. Once again we have a new first time number 1.
#1 - Cincinnati Reds, 5-1. It appears the Reds and I have legitimately kissed and made up. (but not in a gay way and surely not on national TV) We are actually making plans to get less fat together so who knows maybe we will be BFF's. To be clear though, that has nothing to do with the lofty rankings.
In the competition for number one it was between the Reds and the Dodgers. They may both be 5-1 but when you compare the stats for the season the red ones have the edge in statistical categories 9-5. It is even a larger difference when comparing this week. The blue ones would have lost to the red ones big. The score? 9-3-2.
That is enough to vault the Reds over the Dodgers despite the respective weekly victores.
MVP: Brandon Moss 2 HR, 6 RBI, .321, 1.010 OPS
1/4 Season mVP: Jose Abreu 13 HR, 37 RBI, .273, .936 OPS
Interesting Fact (or not) This Team is JOSE-Driven. Jose's Abreu, Altuve and Votto. (only named Joey by virtue of being born in Canada rather than any of the Mexico's other than the new one as in New Mexico he would still be Joey)
#2- LAD, 5-1. Someone stated the Dodgers were recently #1 largely due to being in a shit-ball division. (Joe?) We are about to find out as teams venture out into our version of inter-league play. I disagree to a point. I hardly think the Dodgers are the powerhouse team the Reds might be but i surely think they can beat anyone and are legit title contenders.
MVP: Carlos Gomez 2 HR, 2 SB, .364, 1.182 OPS
1/4 Season MVP: Dee Gordon (Edges Carlos Gonzalez based on him only recently becoming LAD property) 22 Runs, 24 SB, .331, .805 OPS (not bad for a no power dude)
Interesting Fact (or not) Will Smith who was acquired via trade as a throw in pre season has quietly put up one of the most dominating RP lines in the game. He has 10 holds
with 24 K's in 17.1 frames with a combined ERA and WHIP of 1.56.
#3 New York Mets,4-2 Mr. Doyle has openly petitioned to be in the top 2. Nope. Not yet anyway. Just as 1 and 2 were obvious so were 3 and four. I actually prejudged this and assumed the Rays would be on top slightly. The records are equal and statistically they would be 7-7 over the season BUT this week Papa Doyle would have smoked your ass like one of those 420 douche bags with a fatty in Colorado. (10-3-1) Add the fact that this team just pounded former #1 Braves like a prom date by a score of 1-12-1 it is easy to choose the NYM’s.
Here is your blueprint for making the top two M.D. Beat the crap out of my rebuilding project this week (Brewers) and hope one of the above are at least a little less than impressive. My team is not impressive so more than just getting by is a must.
MVP: Tulo 4HR, 22TB, 8RBI, .375, 1.401 OPS
¼ MVP: Charlie Blackmon 9HR, 89TB, 29RBI, 8SB, .352, .998 OPS
Interesting Fact (or Not) Charlie Blackmon is likely or at least arguably the overall fantasy MVP so far and the Mets snagged him for free off of waivers. I have heard of finding a crinkled up $20 on the street but this is ridiculous. This is so ridiculous that I believe we need a word for the plural of ridiculous and as there is no such thing I will make one up. This is ridiculi.
#4 TB Rays, 4-2
You ain't got no relief pitching dog
Cryin' all the time
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
When YOU said, you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah, YOU said, you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah, you ain't never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin all the time
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin all the time
Well, you aint never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
You have also claimed to be destined for lofty ranking sir. So far the best you have done was inspired my excellent song.
MVP: Howie Kendrick (Again WTF?) 2SB, .364, 1.052 OPS
¼ MVP: The good Upton 9HR, 19RBI, .287, .925 OPS
Interesting Fact (Or Not) The Rays own Pablo Sandoval. In my humble opinion Pablo “Fat Ichiro” Sandoval has baseballs finest nickname. Narrowly defeating Todd “the TODDFATHER” Frazier.
#5 Atlanta Titanics cough cough Atlanta Braves, 4-2 Please allow me to be clear. The Braves are #5 based on a two game digger and the fact that the Mets played Solange Knowles to your JAY-Z this week.
Ben accurately proclaimed he has work to do on facebook this week.
In other shockingly similarly accurate statements water is wet and grass is green.
1-12-1 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh snap, I just remembered I had announced an intention to be less snarky. Oooops. BTW I normally would never go with Oh snap but I am trying to appeal to the largely younger audience of the league.
MVP: they lost 1-12-1 so nope, nada
¼ MVP: Giancarlo Stanton 11HR, 92TB, 42RBI Oh My!, .307, .995 OPS
Interesting Fact (or not) Stanton’s full name is Giancarlo Cruz-Michael Stanton
and his nickname is Bigfoot
#6-#8 Mariners,Brewers and CWS All 3-3 and so far all as boring as sin. They are not good enough to have earned the effort it would take to properly insult them individually and are not bad enough to have the obvious insults jump up and punch me in the face. I will just say this. These teams are so boring I considered petitioning the league to change all three of the team names to Bob Smith. I won’t though as I am already still all the way confused by the whole Adam trick. This kind of name change would make my hair start on fire.
Mariners MVP: Mark Buehrle 7 IP, 6K, 1QS, 1W, 0.00 ERA, 0.71 Whip
Mariners ¼ MVP: Masahiro Tanaka 7QS, 5W, 58K, 2.57 ERA, 1.00 Whip
Brewers MVP: Alcides Escobar 6SB, .308
Brewers ¼ MVP:Wily Peralta 6QS,4W,2.17 ERA, 1.14 Whip (albeit much with CWS)
CWS MVP: Jared Cosart 2QS, 1W, 1.38ERA
CWS ¼ MVP: Jason Hammel 7QS, 4W, 2.45 ERA, 0.86 Whip
Interesting Fact(or not) None of these teams are all that interesting but…...The MAriners are obviously strategy Driven. There beginning strategy was just to tell everyone his team was good. His next strategy was to trade for very old pitchers. The most recent strategy as announced on FB today takes the cake. Apparently the Mariners are now building their franchise around players currently on the DL. That is awesome! I simply could not make up a shit show as good as this. Ridiculi!! Cheers!
The number one slot is obviously between two teams. Before looking closely at it I suspected it would be a coin flip. As it turned out it is pretty clear who is the top dog. Once again we have a new first time number 1.
#1 - Cincinnati Reds, 5-1. It appears the Reds and I have legitimately kissed and made up. (but not in a gay way and surely not on national TV) We are actually making plans to get less fat together so who knows maybe we will be BFF's. To be clear though, that has nothing to do with the lofty rankings.
In the competition for number one it was between the Reds and the Dodgers. They may both be 5-1 but when you compare the stats for the season the red ones have the edge in statistical categories 9-5. It is even a larger difference when comparing this week. The blue ones would have lost to the red ones big. The score? 9-3-2.
That is enough to vault the Reds over the Dodgers despite the respective weekly victores.
MVP: Brandon Moss 2 HR, 6 RBI, .321, 1.010 OPS
1/4 Season mVP: Jose Abreu 13 HR, 37 RBI, .273, .936 OPS
Interesting Fact (or not) This Team is JOSE-Driven. Jose's Abreu, Altuve and Votto. (only named Joey by virtue of being born in Canada rather than any of the Mexico's other than the new one as in New Mexico he would still be Joey)
#2- LAD, 5-1. Someone stated the Dodgers were recently #1 largely due to being in a shit-ball division. (Joe?) We are about to find out as teams venture out into our version of inter-league play. I disagree to a point. I hardly think the Dodgers are the powerhouse team the Reds might be but i surely think they can beat anyone and are legit title contenders.
MVP: Carlos Gomez 2 HR, 2 SB, .364, 1.182 OPS
1/4 Season MVP: Dee Gordon (Edges Carlos Gonzalez based on him only recently becoming LAD property) 22 Runs, 24 SB, .331, .805 OPS (not bad for a no power dude)
Interesting Fact (or not) Will Smith who was acquired via trade as a throw in pre season has quietly put up one of the most dominating RP lines in the game. He has 10 holds
with 24 K's in 17.1 frames with a combined ERA and WHIP of 1.56.
#3 New York Mets,4-2 Mr. Doyle has openly petitioned to be in the top 2. Nope. Not yet anyway. Just as 1 and 2 were obvious so were 3 and four. I actually prejudged this and assumed the Rays would be on top slightly. The records are equal and statistically they would be 7-7 over the season BUT this week Papa Doyle would have smoked your ass like one of those 420 douche bags with a fatty in Colorado. (10-3-1) Add the fact that this team just pounded former #1 Braves like a prom date by a score of 1-12-1 it is easy to choose the NYM’s.
Here is your blueprint for making the top two M.D. Beat the crap out of my rebuilding project this week (Brewers) and hope one of the above are at least a little less than impressive. My team is not impressive so more than just getting by is a must.
MVP: Tulo 4HR, 22TB, 8RBI, .375, 1.401 OPS
¼ MVP: Charlie Blackmon 9HR, 89TB, 29RBI, 8SB, .352, .998 OPS
Interesting Fact (or Not) Charlie Blackmon is likely or at least arguably the overall fantasy MVP so far and the Mets snagged him for free off of waivers. I have heard of finding a crinkled up $20 on the street but this is ridiculous. This is so ridiculous that I believe we need a word for the plural of ridiculous and as there is no such thing I will make one up. This is ridiculi.
#4 TB Rays, 4-2
You ain't got no relief pitching dog
Cryin' all the time
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
When YOU said, you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah, YOU said, you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah, you ain't never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin all the time
You aint got no relief pitching dog
Cryin all the time
Well, you aint never got a save
And you aint no friend of mine
You have also claimed to be destined for lofty ranking sir. So far the best you have done was inspired my excellent song.
MVP: Howie Kendrick (Again WTF?) 2SB, .364, 1.052 OPS
¼ MVP: The good Upton 9HR, 19RBI, .287, .925 OPS
Interesting Fact (Or Not) The Rays own Pablo Sandoval. In my humble opinion Pablo “Fat Ichiro” Sandoval has baseballs finest nickname. Narrowly defeating Todd “the TODDFATHER” Frazier.
#5 Atlanta Titanics cough cough Atlanta Braves, 4-2 Please allow me to be clear. The Braves are #5 based on a two game digger and the fact that the Mets played Solange Knowles to your JAY-Z this week.
Ben accurately proclaimed he has work to do on facebook this week.
In other shockingly similarly accurate statements water is wet and grass is green.
1-12-1 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh snap, I just remembered I had announced an intention to be less snarky. Oooops. BTW I normally would never go with Oh snap but I am trying to appeal to the largely younger audience of the league.
MVP: they lost 1-12-1 so nope, nada
¼ MVP: Giancarlo Stanton 11HR, 92TB, 42RBI Oh My!, .307, .995 OPS
Interesting Fact (or not) Stanton’s full name is Giancarlo Cruz-Michael Stanton
and his nickname is Bigfoot
#6-#8 Mariners,Brewers and CWS All 3-3 and so far all as boring as sin. They are not good enough to have earned the effort it would take to properly insult them individually and are not bad enough to have the obvious insults jump up and punch me in the face. I will just say this. These teams are so boring I considered petitioning the league to change all three of the team names to Bob Smith. I won’t though as I am already still all the way confused by the whole Adam trick. This kind of name change would make my hair start on fire.
Mariners MVP: Mark Buehrle 7 IP, 6K, 1QS, 1W, 0.00 ERA, 0.71 Whip
Mariners ¼ MVP: Masahiro Tanaka 7QS, 5W, 58K, 2.57 ERA, 1.00 Whip
Brewers MVP: Alcides Escobar 6SB, .308
Brewers ¼ MVP:Wily Peralta 6QS,4W,2.17 ERA, 1.14 Whip (albeit much with CWS)
CWS MVP: Jared Cosart 2QS, 1W, 1.38ERA
CWS ¼ MVP: Jason Hammel 7QS, 4W, 2.45 ERA, 0.86 Whip
Interesting Fact(or not) None of these teams are all that interesting but…...The MAriners are obviously strategy Driven. There beginning strategy was just to tell everyone his team was good. His next strategy was to trade for very old pitchers. The most recent strategy as announced on FB today takes the cake. Apparently the Mariners are now building their franchise around players currently on the DL. That is awesome! I simply could not make up a shit show as good as this. Ridiculi!! Cheers!
